Stuck
by oreoluvver
Summary: Tony bedazzles Fury's eye patch. Then along comes karma, and... Well, guess you'll have to read it if you want to know what happens!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Fury was furious. (No pun intended.) Stark had pulled a prank on him for the last time. Yesterday he had put fake parking tickets on all the cars in the S.H.I.E.L.D parking lot. The tickets said "Iron Man is cooler than you, Furry." The week before that, Stark had bedazzled Nick's favorite eye patch. Today he had changed everything with Fury's name on it to say Nick Furry instead of Nick Fury. Frankly, Nick was annoyed. He considered his options. He could either punch Tony in the face, or get back at him. Nick decided to go with the second option. He grabbed a pair of indestructible hand cuffs and headed to Tony's workshop.

Tony had been working on Dummy when Fury walked in. "What do you want Furry?" he said, snickering at his own joke. "Come here for a minute." Fury commanded. Tony looked at him. "Err…. Why?"  
"Because I said so." Tony rolled his eyes. "That's always a good reason."  
"Just get over here!" growled Fury. Tony sighed and walked over to the Director. Fury grabbed Tony's hand, slapped the cuffs on it, and then cuffed the other side to leg of a table, which held all sorts of chemicals. The table was also bolted to the floor. "Hey!" Tony protested. "What was that for?!" Fury set the keys on the ground, just out of Tony's reach. "Bedazzling my eye patch," the grumpy director said as he walked away.

Three hours later:  
After three hours of trying, Tony could almost reach the keys. He stretched his arm as far as he could… nope. Still two inches away. "You just had to bedazzle the eye patch." Tony said to himself. He looked around for anything that could reach those last two inches and retrieve the keys. Nothing. Then he thought of his phone. He checked all of his pockets and found nothing except for a mint. Tony was growing tired of sitting. He stared at the lab door, hoping someone would walk by. Just when he was ready to give up and take a nap, Steve walked by. "Steve!" Tony yelled. Steve stopped. He looked around. Then he spotted Tony. He quickly opened the door and entered the workshop. "What happened?" asked the Captain. "Fury handcuffed me to the table because I bedazzled his eye patch!" Steve raised an eyebrow. "You what?" He said in disbelief. Tony sighed. "I bedazzled his eye patch! Now get the freaking keys and unlock this thing!" Steve picked up the key and stuck it in the lock. It turned easily, but Steve couldn't get it out. The super soldier pulled with all his might and the key flew out of the lock and sailed through the air. Unfortunately, it landed in a beaker full of acid. "The key!" cried Tony in dismay. "Don't worry." said Steve. "At least you're not chained to the table anymore." Tony just gave him a look.

Tony and Steve headed to the kitchen. Tony figured that if they rubbed butter on the cuff he might be able to slip his hand out. The cuffs were made for big beefy criminals, and it was actually pretty loose. Plus, he was starving. He hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast. While Tony rummaged through the cabinets for a snack, Steve searched the fridge for butter. Tony settled for some cheese puffs, but all Steve could find was margarine. "Why don't we have butter!?" asked Steve. Tony shrugged. "It's the same thing." Steve simply sighed and rubbed the margarine all over Tony's trapped wrist. Tony pulled on the cuff as hard as he could, but to no avail. "Maybe if we both pull," Steve suggested, grabbing the other side of the cuffs. They pulled together, and it almost worked! But Steve's fingers were slippery from the margarine and he dropped his side of the cuff. He grabbed at it, and it landed on his wrist. But thankfully it hadn't closed. Steve sighed in relief. However, Tony hadn't noticed Steve's predicament and he jerked on his side of the handcuffs. The cuff on Cap's hand closed with a snap. "Noooo!" he wailed, desperately tugging on the cuff. Tony looked up. He yelled a bunch of cuss words. Steve attempted to cover his ears, no easy task when you are handcuffed to an angry billionaire. Tony finally concluded his rant with, "We are getting these off, even if it's the last thing we do."  
"But for now, I guess we're stuck." Steve sighed, wishing he had gotten stuck to anyone else.

* * *

**A/N- ****Hey, hope you like it. Once again I must conclude that I can't read minds, therefore, the only way to tell me how you feel about my story is to review. The other reason you should review is that I have handcuffed the next chapter to a table, and it won't be released 'till I get three reviews. So ha. :P  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Tony and Steve had only been stuck together for five minutes and they were already driving each other nuts.

"For the last time," Steve yelled, "We are going to Fury!"

"NO!" Tony protested, "I want to watch SpongeBob! Fury won't even help us anyway! He'll call it team bonding!" Steve frowned. Annoying as Tony was, he did have a point. But after weighing his options, either watch hours of brain numbing TV, or take a potentially useless trip, Steve decided it would be better to at least try the director. Without saying anything, he simply turned around and walked to the elevator, dragging the smaller man behind him.

* * *

"No spare!?" Steve said in disbelief.

"Unfortunately, no," said Fury. "But we can get one here in two weeks."

Steve looked down at Tony in disgust. "I love you too," said the smaller man sarcastically.

"So I have to be stuck to this," Steve motioned to Tony, "For two weeks?"

"Hey!" squeaked Tony. "We can't all be genetically altered super soldiers!" Steve sighed. He might turn suicidal before he got out of this. With that glum thought echoing in his head, he turned and left, with Tony struggling to keep up. As soon as the odd pair had left, Phil walked in. He had been eavesdropping the whole time.

"Sir, that was really evil."

Fury did his best innocent look. "What was evil?"

The face didn't fool Phil though. "Sir, I think we both know that you could've picked that lock."

Fury shrugged. "Eh, team bonding,"

* * *

Back at the tower, Steve and Tony were hiding. All afternoon the tower had been relatively deserted, but soon all the Avengers would be flocking to the kitchen to get some sort of dinner. The two captives did not feel like explaining why they were chained together, so they had decided to stay out of sight. However, they could not agree on where to hide.

"I'm telling you, the workshop is the safest!" Tony insisted,

"No," Steve argued. "We should hide somewhere unexpected. Like the kitchen. No one would ever look for us there!"

"Well no duh, Captain Strategy. They wouldn't have to look! They'd find us right away!"

Steve rubbed his chin. "Good point. Workshop it is!"

While Steve and Tony hid, the other Avengers were wondering where the heck the two had disappeared to, as well as eating dinner.

* * *

"Have you seen Steve lately?" Bruce asked Natasha as he made himself some macaroni and cheese.

"No actually I haven't. Can I have some too?" Natasha requested as she held out her plate.

"Anything for you!" He said jauntily and scooped some of the gooey noodles on to her dish. Just as the transaction was finished, Clint ran into the kitchen.

"Guys, has anyone seen Tony?" He asked, slightly out of breath.

"Nope!" said Natasha as she happily ate her noodles. Mac 'n cheese was one of her favorite foods, although she'd never admit that to anyone. It was very un-assassiny.

Bruce looked uneasy. "I wonder where he is…"

Natasha shrugged. "I talked to Pepper a little while ago. She said that she was going shopping with her mother. Maybe she took Tony with her."

Clint looked panicked. "No I already texted her and asked if he was there and she said that he wasn't! Oh no! What Loki took him! Or what if his suit malfunctioned, he fell out of the sky, hit his head and he can't remember his name or anything! Or what if Steve is a traitor? Tony could be dangling upside down in a warehouse somewhere with that lunatic! Or-"

Bruce cut Clint off. "Hold it right there. I am sure Tony is fine. Maybe he's in his workshop?"

Clint shook his head. "Nope I just checked. I really do hope he's all right. Otherwise I won't have anyone to pull pranks with!"

As soon as the words were out of Clint mouth, Thor burst in. "Hello friends! I saw friend Tony and friend Steve headed towards the workshop. They made a sign like this." Thor held his finger up to his lips. "What does that mean?"

Clint was already out the halfway out the door but he answered anyway. "It means they're up to something."

Thor looked confused. "I do not understand."

Bruce shrugged. "Have some mac 'n cheese"

* * *

Steve and Tony had barely made it into the workshop before Clint burst through the door. They both froze. Tony, who had been munching on M&Ms, dropped his precious candy.

"What are you guys up to?! And why wasn't I invited?" Clint demanded, waving his bow around like a madman.

Steve and Tony exchanged a guilty look. "I knew it!" howled Clint. "You ARE up to something!"

"Yeah, no," said Tony, displaying the hand with the cuff. Clint promptly burst into laughter. "Dude, I don't even want to know."

Back in the kitchen, Natasha was wondering why the heck it was taking Clint so long. Abandoning her mac 'n cheese, she went to investigate. When she got to the lab, she found Clint laughing hysterically with Steve standing suspiciously behind a counter.

"Who did he kill?" Natasha asked, drawing her gun. "Was it Stark?"

"I am not dead!" said Stark, appearing from behind the counter. "I was picking up my M&Ms."

The assassin looked puzzled. "Then why is he laughing so hard?"

Tony ruefully held up the cuffed hand, and soon Natasha was laughing hard too.

* * *

Within a half hour, every person involved with the Avengers or with S.H.E.I.L.D. had heard about Steve and Tony's predicament.

"I'm never gonna live this down!" said Tony despairingly. "I will forever be known as that genius idiot who got stuck to Steve Rogers!"

Steve laughed. "Genius idiot is an oxymoron."

"What the heck is an oxy?" Tony asked, with a perplexed look on his face. Then he got all defensive. "And why are you calling me a moron?! You're the one who landed a plane in the ocean! On purpose!"

Steve laughed again. "Not oxy moron! Oxymoron! It's one all one word! But an oxymoron is when two contradicting words are used together in the same phrase for a special effect. Like genius idiot."

Tony scowled. "Save it for the classroom, Captain Encyclopedia. English was never my strong point." And with that encouraging thought, they went to watch a movie with the rest of the Avengers.

* * *

One movie later:

Steve and Tony stared at each other. It was midnight, and they were both half asleep. But neither would admit that they were tired, because, well, they were stuck together. The only way to describe the situation is awkward.

Finally Steve caved in. "Look, I need to sleep. I don't care how awkward it will be. "

Tony sighed. "I guess you're right. I am pretty tired…" With that being admitted, the two of them walked silently down the hall. Then Tony had an idea.

"I have two air mattresses! We can sleep on those instead!"

Steve sighed with relief. "Oh thank goodness. That would've been too weird."

Tony nodded. They set up the two air mattresses as far apart as the chain would allow. There was one awkward moment where Steve confessed that he needed a nightlight to sleep and an even more awkward moment when Tony confessed that he needed his pink stuffed kitty to sleep. But it all ended well and they were both asleep in minutes.

* * *

**Authors Note- Sorry it took so long to update, but I was kind of busy. And yeah, I made Phil undead. Just say his death was faked to bring the team together. I'm (still) not psychic. So if you wanna tell me how you feel about my story, now is a good time. All you gotta do is hit the little button that says review. Plus, I will not release the next chapter till I get three reviews. So :P **


	3. Chapter 3

1:39 am

Tony stared at Steve, silently willing him to shut up. For a half an hour or so he had talked in his sleep. And the super-soldier talked loudly. It wasn't just a little bit of mumbling, or the occasional whisper, the man had whole conversations with himself. It was driving Tony nuts. At this point, the genius was considering chopping off his own arm. He could always build robotic one. And then he would be free! Away from this star-spangled nincompoop and his annoying sleep talk!

"The monkey has my shield. Catch the monkey!" Steve said to himself, blissfully unaware of Tony's mental death threats. If no one died before the end of this, it would be a true miracle. With a sigh, Tony closed his eyes. In spite of the noise Steve was making, he though maybe he could get some sleep.

"AAAHHHHHHH! GIVE THAT BACK, MONKEY!" Steve suddenly yelled, and Tony sat up, intending to wake the man. He had tried earlier, but Steve had remained unresponsive.

"STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!" he shouted, but the super-soldier didn't stir. Not-so-gently, he grabbed Steve by the shoulders and tried to shake him awake. "Get up!"

"Leave me alone, stupid monkey." Steve muttered, pushing Tony away. "and quit taking my shield!"

Tony sighed and went back to his air mattress. It was going to be a loooooooooooong night.

* * *

3:58 am

Steve stared at Tony. He was snoring very loudly, and there was no way Steve could sleep with all that noise. He had to make it stop!

"Tony," Steve attempted. The snoring continued.

"Tony, wake up." It was no use, the genius continued to slumber, unaware of the noise Steve was making.

"GET UP AND STOP SNORING!" Steve yelled, shaking Tony. Still no response. Frustrated, Steve pulled his pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the snoring. It was going to be a loooooooooooong night.

* * *

8:30

Steve and Tony staggered into the kitchen. Bruce was standing at the stove, Natasha was munching on some cereal, Thor had his usual pop-tarts, and Clint was eating cold pizza. Not exactly breakfast food, but it worked for Clint. Tony headed towards the cabinets, as fruity pebbles were his first choice of breakfast. Steve headed for the stove, intending to make himself some eggs. However, the chain wasn't quite long enough, neither could reach their selected food.

"Alright, its obvious that I get my cereal first." Tony stated, turning to face Steve, a smirk on his face.

"Why is that?" Steve questioned, crossing his arms as much as the chain would allow.

"Because, a.) you kept me up all night with your sleep talking, b.) its your fault we're even in this situation, and c.) I'm Tony freaking Stark, that's why." Tony said cockily, convinced that there was no way he'd lose this argument. Besides, each one of his points was true. As for the narcissism, well, that was true too, wasn't it? He had this one in the bag.

"Sleep talking?" Steve scoffed, "you kept ME up with your obnoxious snoring!"

Tony looked hurt. "Pepper always sleeps through my snoring."

"Newsflash, I'm not Pepper!"

"Yeah, I noticed. Pepper wouldn't have caused this mess in the first place."

"Somehow, I fail to see how this is my fault.

"You were the one who dropped your cuff!"

"Which I wouldn't have done if you hadn't gotten yourself stuck to the table in the first place!"

"You are the idiot who threw the key into the acid!"

The rest of the Avengers were watching the argument with amused expressions. They found the whole thing quite hilarious. Especially when the argument intensified. Tony grabbed a random spice off the counter and threw it in Steve's face. Steve immediately retaliated by grabbing the closest bottle, which happened to be maple syrup, and squirting it all over Tony.

"Oh no you didn't!" Tony exclaimed, licking the syrup off his fingers before grabbing an egg from the carton sitting on the counter. He threw it at Steve, who ducked. The egg hit Natasha right in the head.

"Dibs on the sports car!" Clint called, not appearing to care about the fact his buddy was about to die.

"Hey! I'm not dead yet!" Tony yelped.

"Yet," said Nat, pulling a piece of eggshell out of her hair. She threw the shell on the ground furiously and lunged at Tony, who screamed like a little girl and took off running. Steve was forced to run alongside him. Nat was right behind them, and closing in fast.

"Yep. Sports car is definitely mine." Clint commented, already daydreaming about cruising down the road in his sweet new ride.

"Please let me live!" Tony begged, facing the furious assassin. Nat looked thoughtful for a moment, then decided.

"No."

* * *

"I wish I would've died," Tony complained, holding an ice-pack up to his swollen eye. "I'm going to look like Fury!"

Steve patted him on the shoulder, and the billionaire winced.

"Oops, sorry," Steve apologized, although he didn't sound very apologetic.

"I hate my life," Tony grumbled, rubbing his sore shoulder. "I never even got my cereal."

* * *

** Thanks to everyone who reviewed! :) Double thanks to those who left criticism, this is my first time writing from this POV, and I need all the help i can get! :) Keep reviewin' please, you all rock! **


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